Research states that using bolded text will More times than not the other side will over emphasize your emphasis,” (Kallos 2010). It is clear that emphasis was desired on this, most likely based on the fact that the team failed to provide what was required. Yet, research also states that generally “Instead of relying on formatting for emphasis, build your vocabulary to use adjectives and verbs that relay the specific emphasis you desire,” (Kallos 2010). Thus, a better use of vocabulary might have been less insulting to the audience than the bold text. There is a grammatical mistake, which does lesson the credibility of the writer some — its in this case is actually possessive pronoun, not the combination of it and is, and should be its. The power of the annoyed tone continues to grow as the message ends. The second paragraph seems to be its climax. There are several questions, which seem to be rhetorical jabs at the audience for failing to perform the stated duties. It is clear that feedback had also been given prior to this message, and so helps justify the intensity of the annoyed tone.
To: XYZ Company
Subject: Building Strategic Relationships
Thanks for taking a second to consider the act of building strong strategic relationships which can produce favorable productivity increases for both XYZ and ABC Company.
We have long been a witness to the expertise found within your organization. After considering the productivity benefits it would provide, it becomes clear that a working relationship would prove mutually beneficial.
Not only could we offer availability to our resources, it is clear that working with us would ensure a stronger business strategy.
If interested in discussing strategic collaboration further, please contact us here at ABC at your leisure. We cant wait to get started!
To: ABC Company
Subject: Re: Building Strategic Relationships
Thank you for your interest in working with us. We appreciate the recognition and time spent on our behalf.
Unfortunately, we cannot act on your request at this time. Due to prior experience with costs involved prove that a working relationship would not be mutually beneficial in terms of your standing product prices. We here at XYZ aim to pass on as much savings to our customers as possible. Yet, as you probably know, cost of operations must be secured in order to continue to do so. With that in mind, it would not be feasible for us to work your company.
However, we do greatly appreciate the offer and we encourage you to contact us if there are any changes in prices.
Thank you kindly.
Kallos, Judith. (2010). You are in bold when you bold e-mail. Business E-mail Etiquite. Retrieved March 14, 2010 from http://www.businessemailetiquette.com/you-are-bold-when-you-bold/
Misty, N. (2005). Effective persuasive messages for business communications. Business Communications. Associated Content. Retrieved March 14, 2010 from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5043/effective_persuasive_messages_for_business.html.